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Last Post 19 Sep 2011 11:43 PM by  soloesp
Autocross is not Racing (a fun fur flyin debate)
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Driven
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29 Aug 2006 07:21 PM
mattm wrote:

Driven wrote:
mattm wrote:
If autocrossing were any easier, they'd call it road racing.
Did you miss page one?

No. The whole thread is for humor. I'll click the "Insert Smiley" for those that are humor challenged.

The quote was on a bunch of t-shirts in the New England Region a bunch of years ago. Funny, the RR crowd had trouble with the humor, too. [:)] Steve Ostrovitz may have been the author (autocrosser and road racer).

What i meant was, that quote you posted was listed once before, and eluded to like 8940 times.

mattm
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29 Aug 2006 07:40 PM

Driven wrote:
What i meant was, that quote you posted was listed once before, and eluded to like 8940 times.

Puhleese. You want me to *actually* pay attention?!? Sorry, I'll gloss over any topic no matter how important or trivial. [:)]

To be honest, I hadn't seen it earlier or I wouldn't have done the repeat.

I could drop a note to Christoc to pull my reply. [:)]

We now return to the flame fest already in progress....

At Speedvision, we called that a JIP, or "Join In Progess" when live show ended early or late (if it was planned filler). Ahhh, the good old days of great programming and lousy work hours.

mattm
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29 Aug 2006 07:45 PM

Frig. I just went to look where the first reference is. Try post number one from Tom Grossman.

Yup, I'm a dolt.

Art_Whitton
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29 Aug 2006 08:57 PM
mattm wrote:

Yup, I'm a dolt.



Funny, your avatar looks like you're an autocrosser, not a road racer. [;)]
mattm
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29 Aug 2006 09:11 PM

Art_Whitton wrote:
mattm wrote:
Yup, I'm a dolt.
Funny, your avatar looks like you're an autocrosser, not a road racer. [;)]

Guilty as charged. [:)]

TOM GROSSMANN
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30 Aug 2006 12:27 PM

Ok Art you're on but given my drinking ability we will have to compete on PAX.............you drink a pint of Guiness and I drink a shot glass full (sadly I probably still lose) Oh and Art there is no way you can race dirt track......................they drink Bud Light , even your not man enough to drink that stuff. Perhaps we could rate racing by the beer served up..........Rally would come out on top

Now Matt don't feel your a dolt..........see this is my post and as the King of A.D.D I can offer you up A.D.D immunity. (I orignally saw Jason Isley wearing the shirt and had a good laugh) No one couaght the F1 barb either so your fine

The Lone Gunman summed it up best I think

Now if only I had made it to the Isle of Man as I intended..........boy could I ever look down on those so called "road racers" who don't even race on real roads.

Over the years at LVR SCCA we've run every type of event SCCA sanctions , in fact in 2000 I think we ran all of them from TSD to stage rally to Solo 1 & 2 plus Club Racing. I've never call Autocross or Rally anything other than Autocross or Rally......Rally Racing just doesn't sound. Same for Autocross.........sure you race against the clock but Autocross racing just doesn't look right on those fliers..........besides I like the fact that it "looks" easy the first time you see an event. How many folks have done the I can beat that guy , or gal?

Tom

Art_Whitton
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30 Aug 2006 03:31 PM
TOM GROSSMANN wrote:
Perhaps we could rate racing by the beer served up..........Rally would come out on top


Tom... how would you know this? You couldn't organize a piss up at a rally, even! Your inability to place a beer order at the rally bar left your racers at the mercy of the common man's swill.

It's a shame that in this stage of the debate you have exposed yourself as a fraud. Of if we were to define racing as driving something over 100HP, you would have to disqualify yourself anyways.
TedDBere
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30 Aug 2006 04:42 PM

I can't believe I just read through this entire thread...what a slow day.

Here are the highlights for those who choose not to read thru the entire thread:

1) If autocrossing was any easier it'd be called road racing.

2) You can hit 4th gear in an autox...by missing 2nd, just ask Ian.

3) Is too.

4) Is not.

5) Lehman is looking for 50% discount in Vegas. Any leads for him?

6) If autocross was any easier they'd call it road racing.

7) Dork, read post #1.

8) Oops.

9) You are here and all caught up...read on.

TOM GROSSMANN
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30 Aug 2006 05:42 PM

Escusa Arturo IL Assasino de Motore.............lets be clear on this alleged Rally incident:

A. Mr Bottemley talked with the tavern owner

B. There were at least 100 bottles of fine beer there but you chose instead to be Vincenzo de Cinema instead so.................by the time you arrived the rally people who destroy beer crops like locasts, consumed it all..............why do you think they argure over who's first out. First out means first to the beer!!!!

Next for your info; I am disqaulified because it has to have over 100 HP?? You lose there as well. Nissan Mini Pick-up in H-stock , 110 HP. Showroom Stock Miata , 113 HP , D-sports Racer 160 HP , Volvo 144 Rallycross car 125 HP.............now as for the poor old Pokey, well we are currently discussing a 185 HP rotary engine but if we still stick to the A-series engine the new one will have 120HP...............and finally even back 20 years ago when I raced under 100HP bikes they were 130 mph 1 2 5's and 160 mph 250's that would easily suck the paint of your dead Z car faster than Rally drivers suck down beer.

Now Arturo if you really want a showdown I'll bring a pair of XR75's around to your Gym and every 3 laps we stop for a shot............as you can't ride and I can't drink it should be interesting.

Tom

Art_Whitton
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30 Aug 2006 06:07 PM
TOM GROSSMANN wrote:
Now Arturo if you really want a showdown I'll bring a pair of XR75's around to your Gym and every 3 laps we stop for a shot............as you can't ride and I can't drink it should be interesting.


Now THAT would be racing! We could sell tickets to that! [:D]

(for those that want to take odds, I think I could learn to ride faster than Tom could learn to drink)
mattm
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30 Aug 2006 09:15 PM
TedDBere wrote:
I can't believe I just read through this entire thread...what a slow day.

7) Dork, read post #1.

Ted:

It is "dolt," not dork. Thank goodness we have you here to do the exec summary.

TOM GROSSMANN
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31 Aug 2006 03:23 PM

Ok Art I called the poisen control center and if I eat a whole loaf of bread it will slow down the alcohol asorbtion.....so I'm betting I can finish a 15 lap club race before the alcohol really takes over.......besides if I do crash (me on a XR75 on a slick floor will be a 5th gear no lift affair) the alcohol will dull the pain and it ain't like I never raced with broken bones before.

Now what I have learned from the most recent posts is Matt is not to bright (dolt) but he is quite stylish (not a dork) :)

Tom

mattm
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31 Aug 2006 03:36 PM

[:)]

TOM GROSSMANN wrote:
Now what I have learned from the most recent posts is Matt is not to bright (dolt) but he is quite stylish (not a dork) :) Tom

mattm
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31 Aug 2006 03:46 PM

TOM GROSSMANN wrote:
.... Matt is not to bright (dolt) ... :) Tom

And I could be not "too" bright, too.

As Foghorn Leghorn used to say: "Why that boy is ah say is about as sharp as a bowlin' ball."

or: http://www.wiseacre-gardens.com/but...horn04.wav

knutz
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31 Aug 2006 06:35 PM

Now Arturo if you really want a showdown I'll bring a pair of XR75's around to your Gym and every 3 laps we stop for a shot............as you can't ride and I can't drink it should be interesting.

Tom

Wait!!!! I want in on that! I have a touch of experience with both of those. Can I enter, PLEEEEEEEEEASE![:D]

Driven
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31 Aug 2006 07:43 PM

true racing...

karts.

/thread.

David Lehman
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31 Aug 2006 08:13 PM

Actually I have been very involved in road racing for many many years, and have competed against the best time and time again. During that time I have had numerous wins and podium finishes.

But................

Some of my competitors were very jealous of my many accomplishments. Needless to say they were unable to match my prodigious results, and I had a very small budget compared to the other teams. No one could figure out how I was always winning at this thing called "ROAD RACING".

Well one day it so happens........

I had eaten several PB&J sandwiches (with bananas---just not fried like Elvis did), anyway, and I started blasting away in my usual fashion-----producing the most foul smelling gas out of my ass, as was my usual habit.

Note: I was lucky enough to sell some of my defacated wastes to a big oil company for their natural gas research, hell I cleared about $ 750,000.00 by doing this...........

Anyway, I let it slip that before the race on race day, and two day prior, that I consumed vast quanities of milk products, so much so in fact that it would totally overwhelm my digestive system....and now if you put 2+2 together. As the rules committee did......and realized that I was in fact cheating by using natural gas out of my ass to give me a horsepower boost on the straightaways.

Of course I was banned forever from roadracing......

So then I took up autox, and there I found my true calling. Sharing my passion with a group of people so far out of the main stream of society, that they didn't care what I did. Just as long as they got my doos....oops I mean dues.

go team itchy balls

ralmeister
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31 Aug 2006 08:41 PM

Sh** Tom,

if you're gonna start something and associate my name Scott Bottomley with organizing the awards party at Seed 9 Rally make sure you spell it correctly instead of Bottemley 'cause to some the after party is what it's all about; everything before is just bullsh**!

Up the Rebels

Beer you drink, water you fight over!

TOM GROSSMANN
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31 Aug 2006 08:51 PM
Now Matt as an English major I figured I'd leave you an open by which "to" redeem yourself in this post. Of course you should have used red ink.........but I'll let that slide "too". Now Don you are more than welcome.............you're way to big to even get close to backing a tiny XR into a corner and that thing aint gonna steer worth nuthin on that slick floor (note dirt track grammer) sooooooo............when the Alcohol takes over and I start missing my marks I'll need something for traction to dime off corners properly.................your left calf should work nicely. Tom PS Dave that is the most out there explaination I've ever seen or posted......I'm impressed
mattm
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31 Aug 2006 10:00 PM

Tom G wrote:
Now Matt as an English major I figured I'd leave you an open by which "to" redeem yourself in this post. Of course you should have used red ink.........but I'll let that slide "too". Tom

I thought you'd enjoy the .wav file more. [:)]

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